The Honking Goose

The Permanent State of Almost Being Hit.

Bean Sprout | 29 March 2026 | The Parish Pump

Mapleton is dangerous. You may not have noticed this yourself, you may have wandered up to the bakery, crossed Obi Obi Road without incident, bought a scone, and wandered back, but rest assured, it is extremely dangerous. People have been almost crossing that road for years. The near-misses are legion. The sourdough-clutching near-fatalities, uncounted.

How do we know this? Because certain people have always known it, and certain people have been saying so for quite some time now, and if you say something for long enough in a small village, it eventually becomes received wisdom, like the idea that the pub is the heart of the community or that the school pickup is a crisis requiring a full traffic management study.

... And so, inevitably, magnificently, we now have another survey.

The survey wants to know whether you support a pedestrian crossing on Obi Obi Road. It frames this question with the helpful suggestion that such a crossing would "enhance safety," which makes voting No feel roughly equivalent to voting against sunshine. It offers you five types of infrastructure to choose from. It does not offer you the option of choosing none of the above. It is, in the gentle parlance of the research world, leading.

It is also, it must be said, not something many of us have actually seen. The Goose became aware of it largely by accident, which is an interesting dissemination strategy for a community consultation. It appears to have travelled primarily among those who were already enthusiastic about it, in the manner of a chain letter among true believers. By the time the results come in, they will reflect the views of a self-selected cohort of the deeply concerned rather than the broader population of Mapletonians, most of whom have been crossing that road without incident and without much existential dread.

Here is the thing about Obi Obi Road through Mapleton village that the survey does not mention: it has a relatively clean safety record. It already has a 40km/h speed limit, won after a previous round of community lobbying, which calmed traffic through the village centre considerably. And it has, baked into its slightly awkward geometry, a natural hazard-awareness system that no amount of yellow poles and zebra paint can replicate — the simple requirement that you look before you cross.

Transport engineers have a name for what happens when you over-formalise a space that already works through informal vigilance. They call it risk compensation. The rest of us might call it the moment a pedestrian strides confidently into traffic because there's a sign saying they have right of way. The current road, in its unadorned state, asks something of you. That is not a design flaw.

There is also, the survey neglects to mention, the small matter of parking. A refuge island or marked crossing on a road of this width doesn't materialise from nothing, it comes at the cost of several on-street spaces currently serving the medical centre, the shops, and everyone who drove up from Nambour to buy a plant. The survey does not ask you to weigh one against the other. It does not, in fact, mention parking at all. It prefers not to complicate the narrative with the part where we lose something.

Meanwhile, the Sunshine Coast Council and TMR are, as anyone in local government will tell you, not exactly swimming in discretionary infrastructure funds. There are genuine black spots in this region. There are roads where the accident history is not theoretical. Mapleton, bless it, is not one of them.

The Goose does not begrudge Mapleton its concerns. Villages are supposed to worry about their roads and their schools and their parking and their character. That is part of what makes them villages. But there is a difference between a community identifying a real problem and a community developing a habit of identifying problems, a kind of ambient civic anxiety that keeps certain people very busy and certain committees very purposeful and certain surveys circulating among the already-convinced.

The crossing may yet come. The poles may yet be installed, yellow and cheerful, at the edge of the road. Drivers, confronted with this new furniture, will glance at it briefly and return their attention to their phones.

... And the scone-buyers of Mapleton will cross the road, as they always have, by looking both ways.

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The views expressed are those of the correspondent. Factual claims draw on publicly available sources.